Have you noticed how those people who are confident seem to have it easy? Everything just works for them, right? What is it they have that makes them so confident? Were they born like this? Have they always been like this?
You may be surprised. Confidence isn’t about looking a certain way or being an extrovert, it is about what’s on the inside. It’s about how you think about yourself and how you value yourself. Here are 8 traits we’ve found that confident people possess and some confidence booster tips for you to put into practice straight away.
- They don’t judge they praise
Try it! Instead of seeing someone fit and active and thinking ‘oh, they have more time or they are naturally that way’ try giving them a compliment. Comparing yourself to anyone else, whether it be fitness, weight, looks, career or social status, is a limiting mindset and will eventually bring you to a grinding halt. Enthuse in their health and wellness and you’ll find that you have not only made them feel better about themselves, you have given yourself a little confidence booster too.
Tip – It isn’t as hard as you think, start by giving a family member a compliment, then a co-worker, then a stranger. Make sure it is a genuine compliment, as fake compliments can be sniffed out a mile away and have the opposite effect!
- They know how to say no
Identifying what is important to you and prioritising that above other requests is more about confidence than it is about will power. Confident people realise that by saying no they are valuing the commitments they have already made. This is not about being aggressive, rather it’s about being assertive about what you want and will (or won’t) accept. This can be as simple as a polite decline for your grandmother’s sweets or a reasoned refusal to take on work outside your job parameters. Be honest here, do you sometimes feel like people ask you to do something because they are certain you will agree?
Tip – Come up with a few scenarios where you fear being put on the spot and don’t have the confidence to say no. Craft some responses that you are comfortable with for saying ‘no!’, then practice them! The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
- They look for little wins and celebrate success
It feels so good when you can tick off things on your to-do list or when you complete that run without stopping to walk or when you have a great day of healthy eating. You find an extra spring in your step and it seems like you can conquer so much more in your day, right? That’s because your brain releases dopamine, which gives you feelings of satisfaction and reward anytime you succeed at achieving something. Research suggests achieving small successes regularly builds this response to improve perseverance and confidence to complete tasks. Confident people will maximise this response by celebrating this success, which works in a motivating cycle of wanting (and being able) to achieve more.
Tip – Be methodical about your day. You will notice a boost in your confidence if you make an achievable to-do list for the following day. Include some 2-minute activities that you can achieve in idle times. This gives you mini confidence boosters as you tick them off throughout the day!
- They exercise regularly – for more than just physical benefit!
We will never get sick of saying this one because there are so many benefits to regular exercise! Conquering challenges, getting fitter, pushing through barriers, improving your health, feeling energized, enhancing your hormone function, better sleep, improved metabolism, decreased stress, self-pride … these are all features that lead to boosting confidence. People who make exercise a regular part of their life become more confident with their time, their appearance and their ability to face challenges in everyday life and work.
Tip – Set your alarm for an early workout. By doing a workout first thing in the morning you have already achieved a small success and set your day up for even better results. Plus, you are more likely to fit it in than running out of time later in the day!
- They aren’t afraid to ask for help
Think about this for a moment…who are those people that the gym instructors often talk to, or the ones that the managers are always ‘helping out’? Generally, you think, ‘why are they getting help and attention? They don’t need it, they are so confident already!’… Well the answer is right in front of you. They are confident enough to ask for help. They seek out the best advice and they improve themselves by questioning those more knowledgeable.
Tip – Next time you don’t know or understand how to do something -ask someone who does! This can start small (and almost anonymously) by posting a question online, like in the Facebook Active8me Community Group. You will be surprised by the response and your confidence will be buoyed. Take it a step further and respond to someone else’s query, if you are able to help. You’ll get double the confidence boost!
- They set goals and they share them
You don’t have to take a full-page ad in the newspaper to identify and share your goals. Confident people make their goals known to people they know will keep them accountable. This bit of pressure to work towards your goal, given you’ve shared them, is a good thing and it will drive you forward. Commit to an early workout for 3 mornings per week or cut down on your bubble tea habit by half. Remember to give yourself a time limit, a measurable goal and be realistic. Both the progress and achievement of working towards these mini goals will boost your confidence to tackle larger and more long-term goals.
Tip – Have an accountability buddy! Start small by making a list of 3 things you want to achieve this week, email or message it to a friend and ask them for help to remind, support and encourage you with achieving them.
- They practice good posture
Good posture has more to do with confidence than just the outward appearances. Our minds and body are intricately linked. It is amazing how you can instantly pick the body language of confident people compared to the stereotypical low self-esteem imagery of a slouching person. Research suggests that good posture (especially in the face of stress) reduces negative moods and maintains positive self-esteem when compared to a slumped posture. Your posture, whether good or bad, is often a habit you have fallen into. So, you will need time and effort to change from slouched to confident.
Tip – Set an alarm on your phone for every few hours to remind you to adjust your posture. Sit / stand / talk confidently and your mind will follow.
- They embrace failure and learn from it
Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that don’t work” and Michael Jordan said “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Confident people are not willing to let failure stand in their way. Everyone knows that failure is not a nice feeling, but the difference with confident people is their ability to reframe their view of this and to make an opportunity from it. Just because you have a ‘bad’ day of eating or miss your workout or don’t lose the weight you expected, doesn’t mean you can’t start afresh the very next second. Confident people recognise that it is not this failure that determines their character, rather their ability to move forward from it.
Tip – Visualise how you want to appear, feel, and carry yourself, and you being confident! Be really specific- think about the clothes you will wear, the foods you will nourish yourself with, the salty sweat exhilaration from a hard workout. Elite athletes use this regularly to ensure they are feeling confident to compete. Your confidence is boosted both at the time of visualisation and also when it comes to participating in your envisioned task.
Active8me is all about building lives. We’re passionate about health and fitness and have built a innovative all-in-one platform to help people see transformation, get more confident, have more energy and live healthy, active lives. Our app offers a number of programs that cover everything in one convenient place. Workouts + healthy nutrition + mindset + tracking + holistic health. All Programs are customised to individual needs and built by highly qualified experts (eg. Olympians, personal trainers, dieticians, doctors). It’s like having a personal trainer, dietician and life coach in your pocket! Check it out for free.
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